Timing Is Everything

Timing is Everything

In my journey of this life that I am living, as with most Christians, I have been learning that my timing is not always what the Lord would say is right. I have learned to endure, LONG. After I moved into my apartment in October 2022, there was something in my life that I was struggling so much to understand. I hated it, it didn't make sense, I knew there was NO way that it was God and I wanted answers. I sat down on the floor at the coffee table and demanded that God answer my questions. I was just sobbing and screaming at the Father, and asking my questions, scared, confused, angry, and I told Him that I needed Him to answer me now. hahaha, OH praise His name, He is so patient with me. He is so loving.

I am going to pause here a minute. I know what I just said makes some people fearful, you might be afraid to go to the Father like that, and I understand that. However, He already knows how you feel and when we just come to Him authentically, He loves it. One time I tried to be the pious, proper Christian and I felt like my prayer wasn't going anywhere and I knew inside of me why. I finally let down my guard and talked to him like I would a friend and I promise you with everything that I have in me that I heard Him say, "Ok, NOW we can get started." He is THE most longsuffering, patient, kind and understanding Father you could ever want. He says for us to come boldly to the Throne of Grace. He says come to Him like little children would come to their daddy's, and I take Him at His word. Every time that I have come to Him in anger, hurt, fear, unbelief, He is so gentle, I can feel His warm embrace and He helps me with those moments in so many ways. He doesn't want the masks, take them off, you can trust Him. He is the one who created YOU, chose you, loves you SO much.

As I sat on the floor, listening to a YouTube channel that plays piano music and has scripture on it, I got so tired that I had to put my head down and fell asleep. I woke to a verse on the screen – Jeremiah 33:3 "Call upon me and I will show you great and mighty things that you don't know." This happened 7 times and in those verses the Lord gave me a glimpse of how He was going to grow me in my life. I had NO idea in that moment all that the Lord would do in me, all that he would strip out of me, all that He would perfect in me, all so I can look like Him. I represent Him, I am His daughter, He chose me, made me for Himself. He didn't answer any of the questions that I had that day, but what He did do is pull me to Himself, taught me how to rest in Him, to understand that He does not require performance. I used to think you had to do all the right things to make God happy with me. He had to break down all the religious foundations that I had and build them on His truth only.

It hurt, the stripping, but as I let Him work, I just could not believe the relationship that I had with Him was even possible. Had I gotten my answers that day I would not have learned to hear Him, love Him, trust Him like I do now. HE is my all, He truly is. I found out that HIS timing on everything and it has been so beautiful to me. I clung to people, things, money, what others thought of me, everything else, except the one who made me. Except the one who cherishes me no matter how much I mess up, the one who calls me His masterpiece. I didn't even really know who he was, I was in a religious box all my life. The box felt safe because I knew the "rules" for making God happy. Make sure you are in church every time the doors are open, read your bible every day, pray every day, memorize scripture and of course make sure that you are leading someone to the Lord every day. If you don't do that, you won't gain any rewards in Heaven. I am sure that I took those thing and added onto what I was taught, but when you believe like that you are checking off your to do list, you are not having a personal relationship with the Lord.

God is not in a box, he is SO much vaster and just so much fun. He is so much more adventurous than we give Him credit for. He created us, we are just like our Papa God, why do we think that He is just a stern disciplinarian and if we don't get it right than, well, we are going to get it. I believed that all my life, until He took me aside and showed me who He really is. Held me still so that I could learn to hear Him. It has been the most amazing thing that has happened to me in all of my life. Learning to know that I CAN hear Him like He says in His word. I don't read the Bible every day like some do, and I know, to some, that sounds so blasphemes, but it has brought me so much closer to Him. It has taught me to truly listen for His voice and His leading, and it has created a relationship that is based on His drawing me to Himself. He longs for us to worship and adore Him, and it is so amazing. I wouldn't trade it for anything else. I continue to follow HIS timing for me to pray and what to pray for, HIS timing for us to come together and read His words, HIS timing for me to have the things that I am praying for. I have learned to wait for the best, not settle for good. In the mean time I get to love on others, praise Him, sing wherever I go and then, wait some more. It truly has taught me to endure, haha and I know this because I am not always asking this anymore, "haven't I learned how to endure long enough?" hahah – OH PRAISE HIS NAME I AM FREE!